Dear Stakeholder:
This routine, bureaucratic-say-nothing-bullshit acknowledgement is in response
to your letter dated XXXXXX. I am a corporate sycophant and am not authorized
to engage in intelligent information exchange with our customers who buy our products
and services so corporate staff can enjoy gainful employment and good wages - making
possible the good life! Frankly, we do not really have time to deal with letters from
our customers because we think:
* those customers who write are cranks who can never be satisfied;
* those customers who write are just out to get something for free;
* we think we know what our customers need and deserve and that is what we supply;
* frankly, we are too busy taking "Total Quality Service" courses to waste time implementing what we learn;
* we are not interested in consumer complaints as it makes our management unhappy;
* we think that you do not have enough intelligence to fully understand our services and products and that you do not appreciate the superior minds that have created them for you;
* if you really knew what goes on around here you would not waste your time writing to us; you would see your lawyer or certainly not be a repeat customer.
You can be assured that your letter has been:
* filed in file 13 (the waste basket);
* has been placed in the corporate mail system for transfer to our office closest to you for follow-up action - this usually ensures that it goes lost.
We hope this reply closes this matter to your satisfaction. Enclosed is one of our computer-readable client satisfaction survey forms. Please ensure that all ratings are indicated by using a BLACK, SOFT pencil and that the entire block is darkened.
Our corporation is dedicated to continuous improvement through the application of technology and total quality management principles. If the computer detects any written comments on the survey form, it will send it to this division, authorizing a corporate sycophant to do a follow-up by issuing another copy of this moronic, bureaucratic-say-nothing-bullshit acknowledgement!
We want to hear what you have to say, as long as you say what we want to hear!
We are not in the business of providing anything to anybody;
we are strictly in the business of making a living.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
LIFE IS A TERMINAL DISEASE!
Life is a Terminal Disease!
To live today is a risky deal.
If a superbug won't get you,
the bird flu will!
You eat some food and before you know it
foodborne illness makes you throw up!
You go to hospital and soon you reel
in a bed full of Clostridium difficile!
And if you go out of doors a mosquito will
give you the virus from West Nile!
You leave the hospital and you think you are O.K.
only to find that you acquired MRSA!
For some companionship you make a spiel
only to find that now you got HIV
and now if the TB won't get you
the terrorists will!
No matter how clever your bullshit is,
only one thing is certain,
life is a sexually transmitted, always terminal disease! (bsguyx@gmail.com)
To live today is a risky deal.
If a superbug won't get you,
the bird flu will!
You eat some food and before you know it
foodborne illness makes you throw up!
You go to hospital and soon you reel
in a bed full of Clostridium difficile!
And if you go out of doors a mosquito will
give you the virus from West Nile!
You leave the hospital and you think you are O.K.
only to find that you acquired MRSA!
For some companionship you make a spiel
only to find that now you got HIV
and now if the TB won't get you
the terrorists will!
No matter how clever your bullshit is,
only one thing is certain,
life is a sexually transmitted, always terminal disease! (bsguyx@gmail.com)
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Bullshit on Bullshit und Ueberbullshit!
Secrecy is the ally of corruption,
the hiding place of incompetence,
leaders/ Fuehrers, sycophants and bullshitters!
*********************
BULLSHIT REMAINS BULLSHIT
UNLESS IT IS PRODUCED BY EXPERTS -THEN IT IS UEBERBULLSHIT!
*********************
That that is is.
That that is not is not.
However, we know not what is and what is not
and so we bullshit a lot!
*********************
Pathetic.
There is only one thing more pathetic
than a bullshitter trying to bullshit another bullshitter
and that is a bullshitter trying to bullshit a former bullshitter;
unless it is a former bullshitter trying to bullshit another former bullshitter.
*********************
You can bullshit some of the people all of the time,
you can bullshit all of the people some of the time,
but you can't bullshit all of the people all of the time!
*********************
No boondoggler can boondoggle
No dictator can dictate
No Fuehrer can fuehr
No leader can lead
No bullshitter can bullshit
Unless s/he can surround her/himself
with a bunch of (professional) grovellers
and system sycophants willing to do the dirty work!
*********************
LEADERSHIP:
Mindfucking your followers
into believing your bullshit!
Reference: McGinn, C. 2008, Mindfucking, Acumen Publishing Ltd.,
************************8
the hiding place of incompetence,
leaders/ Fuehrers, sycophants and bullshitters!
*********************
BULLSHIT REMAINS BULLSHIT
UNLESS IT IS PRODUCED BY EXPERTS -THEN IT IS UEBERBULLSHIT!
*********************
That that is is.
That that is not is not.
However, we know not what is and what is not
and so we bullshit a lot!
*********************
Pathetic.
There is only one thing more pathetic
than a bullshitter trying to bullshit another bullshitter
and that is a bullshitter trying to bullshit a former bullshitter;
unless it is a former bullshitter trying to bullshit another former bullshitter.
*********************
You can bullshit some of the people all of the time,
you can bullshit all of the people some of the time,
but you can't bullshit all of the people all of the time!
*********************
No boondoggler can boondoggle
No dictator can dictate
No Fuehrer can fuehr
No leader can lead
No bullshitter can bullshit
Unless s/he can surround her/himself
with a bunch of (professional) grovellers
and system sycophants willing to do the dirty work!
*********************
LEADERSHIP:
Mindfucking your followers
into believing your bullshit!
Reference: McGinn, C. 2008, Mindfucking, Acumen Publishing Ltd.,
************************8
Sunday, October 28, 2007
The Academics of Bullshit 101
The Academics of Bullshit 101 - Why every student should take a course on bullshit.
Following an all-candidates' meeting during the recent Ontario provincial election I had the privilege to briefly discuss with some journalism students the fact that "bullshit" has now become a respectable academic field of study. If one uses google scholar with the search string "on bullshit" one is rewarded 5,590 hits of what should be mainly the academic, scholarly, peer reviewed literature on the subject. While the revival of studies on bullshit is generally credited to the phenomenal success of Princeton University emeritus philosophy professor Harry Frankfurt's 2005 book simply entitled "On Bullshit", this author is of the opinion that Neil Postman's paper delivered at the National Convention for the Teachers of English on November 28, 1969 in Washington, D.C. entitled "Bullshit and the Art of Crap-Detection" should be the first reference any student should read. Postman made the following point: "As I see it, the best things schools can do for kids is to help them learn how to distinguish useful talk from bullshit." A little later he continues: "every day in almost every way people are exposed to more bullshit than it is healthy for them to endure". It was left to Frankfurt to proclaim that "one of the most salient features of our culture is that there is so much bullshit"; however, the purpose of this short submission is to draw to the attention of students that the rapidly expanding academic literature on bullshit has something of interest to most students. Let me close by simply providing three examples:
1. Students of journalism and political science should be interested in - Brandenburg, Heinz, Short of Lying - The prevalence of bullshit in political communication, presented at the Annual Conference of the Political Studies Association, Reading, 4-6 April, 2006.
2. Accounting, business and science students might enjoy Queen's University Norman B. Macintosh's Accounting - Truth, Lies, or bullshit. A Philosophical Investigation.
3. For anyone wanting to go deeper into bullshit the book by Gary L. Hardcastle and George A. Reisch, 2006, Bullshit and Philosophy - guaranteed to get perfect results every time, Open Court, Chicago is a must library addition.
While the entire book is worth reading, although some chapters are heavy slugging, the following chapters are highly recommended:
Chapter 6 by University of British Columbia Professor Alan Richardson - Performing Bullshit and the Post-Sincere Condition, should be read by every student thinking of post graduate studies.
Chapter 14 by Heather Douglas - Bullshit at the Interface of Science and Policy: Global Warming, Toxic Substances, and Other Pesky Problems, page 215, is must reading for policy wonks, politicians and bureaucrats.
Canadians have made excellent contributions to the literature on bullshit as can be seen by visiting http://bullshitcitynorth.blogspot.com . Perhaps University of Manitoba professor John S. McCallum said it best in his 2005 Viewpoint - On Bullshit is not bullshit, Ivey Business Journal, Sept/Oct, page 1-3.
Following an all-candidates' meeting during the recent Ontario provincial election I had the privilege to briefly discuss with some journalism students the fact that "bullshit" has now become a respectable academic field of study. If one uses google scholar with the search string "on bullshit" one is rewarded 5,590 hits of what should be mainly the academic, scholarly, peer reviewed literature on the subject. While the revival of studies on bullshit is generally credited to the phenomenal success of Princeton University emeritus philosophy professor Harry Frankfurt's 2005 book simply entitled "On Bullshit", this author is of the opinion that Neil Postman's paper delivered at the National Convention for the Teachers of English on November 28, 1969 in Washington, D.C. entitled "Bullshit and the Art of Crap-Detection" should be the first reference any student should read. Postman made the following point: "As I see it, the best things schools can do for kids is to help them learn how to distinguish useful talk from bullshit." A little later he continues: "every day in almost every way people are exposed to more bullshit than it is healthy for them to endure". It was left to Frankfurt to proclaim that "one of the most salient features of our culture is that there is so much bullshit"; however, the purpose of this short submission is to draw to the attention of students that the rapidly expanding academic literature on bullshit has something of interest to most students. Let me close by simply providing three examples:
1. Students of journalism and political science should be interested in - Brandenburg, Heinz, Short of Lying - The prevalence of bullshit in political communication, presented at the Annual Conference of the Political Studies Association, Reading, 4-6 April, 2006.
2. Accounting, business and science students might enjoy Queen's University Norman B. Macintosh's Accounting - Truth, Lies, or bullshit. A Philosophical Investigation.
3. For anyone wanting to go deeper into bullshit the book by Gary L. Hardcastle and George A. Reisch, 2006, Bullshit and Philosophy - guaranteed to get perfect results every time, Open Court, Chicago is a must library addition.
While the entire book is worth reading, although some chapters are heavy slugging, the following chapters are highly recommended:
Chapter 6 by University of British Columbia Professor Alan Richardson - Performing Bullshit and the Post-Sincere Condition, should be read by every student thinking of post graduate studies.
Chapter 14 by Heather Douglas - Bullshit at the Interface of Science and Policy: Global Warming, Toxic Substances, and Other Pesky Problems, page 215, is must reading for policy wonks, politicians and bureaucrats.
Canadians have made excellent contributions to the literature on bullshit as can be seen by visiting http://bullshitcitynorth.blogspot.com . Perhaps University of Manitoba professor John S. McCallum said it best in his 2005 Viewpoint - On Bullshit is not bullshit, Ivey Business Journal, Sept/Oct, page 1-3.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
THE QUEST FOR SAFE FOOD
WILL YOUR MESSAGE PASS THE BULLSHIT DETECTION TEST ?
How to Detect Bullshit - "EXPECT BULLSHIT" - for complete paper go
http://www.scottberkun.com/essays/53_how_to_detect_bullshit/
or
Bullshit and the Art of Crap-Detection by Neil Postman (Paper delivered at the National Convention for the Teachers of English {NCTE}, November 28, 1969, Washington, D.C.)
THE QUEST FOR SAFE FOOD
Celebrating 100 years of failure,
bullshit and überbullshit
because
Seeing reality is the first step towards changing it.
How to Detect Bullshit - "EXPECT BULLSHIT" - for complete paper go
http://www.scottberkun.com/essays/53_how_to_detect_bullshit/
or
Bullshit and the Art of Crap-Detection by Neil Postman (Paper delivered at the National Convention for the Teachers of English {NCTE}, November 28, 1969, Washington, D.C.)
THE QUEST FOR SAFE FOOD
Celebrating 100 years of failure,
bullshit and überbullshit
because
Seeing reality is the first step towards changing it.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
How to detect bullshit!
While I think that we can all agree with Harry Frankfurt that there is a lot of bullshit all around us all the time, it seems to me that the most important thing is to be able to detect bullshit. On that subject I have found two useful references:
1. Postman, Neil, 1969 - "Bullshit and the Art of Crap-Detection" (Paper delivered at the National Convention for the Teachers of English, November 28, 1969, Washington, D.C.) For me the paper did not come up until I googled On Bullshit with Google Scholar. It is an excellent paper.
2. #53 - How to detect bullshit
By Scott Berkun, August 9, 2006 -
http://www.scottberkun.com/essays/53-how-to-detect- bullshit/ .
This paper has some interesting references.
Finally I would suggest that the law of the opposite is also a very good way to detect bullshit.
This law applies to any organization from a family to a country. It goes something like this:
If you want to detect problems or bullshit in an organization, look at what the senior managers are doing and talking about and also listen to the employee grapevine (gripevine) and then test against the opposite!
Examples:
Talks about leadership most likely means there is leadershit - organizations with good leadership don’t need to talk about it.
Talk about teams means there are no teams and there is perhaps vicious competition
Talk about free flow of information may indicate organizational information costipation and secrecy
I am sure you get my drift!!!
http://www.scottberkun.com/blog/2006/essay-how-to-detect-bullshit/
Happy crap or bullshit detection!
While I think that we can all agree with Harry Frankfurt that there is a lot of bullshit all around us all the time, it seems to me that the most important thing is to be able to detect bullshit. On that subject I have found two useful references:
1. Postman, Neil, 1969 - "Bullshit and the Art of Crap-Detection" (Paper delivered at the National Convention for the Teachers of English, November 28, 1969, Washington, D.C.) For me the paper did not come up until I googled On Bullshit with Google Scholar. It is an excellent paper.
2. #53 - How to detect bullshit
By Scott Berkun, August 9, 2006 -
http://www.scottberkun.com/essays/53-how-to-detect- bullshit/ .
This paper has some interesting references.
Finally I would suggest that the law of the opposite is also a very good way to detect bullshit.
This law applies to any organization from a family to a country. It goes something like this:
If you want to detect problems or bullshit in an organization, look at what the senior managers are doing and talking about and also listen to the employee grapevine (gripevine) and then test against the opposite!
Examples:
Talks about leadership most likely means there is leadershit - organizations with good leadership don’t need to talk about it.
Talk about teams means there are no teams and there is perhaps vicious competition
Talk about free flow of information may indicate organizational information costipation and secrecy
I am sure you get my drift!!!
http://www.scottberkun.com/blog/2006/essay-how-to-detect-bullshit/
Happy crap or bullshit detection!
Friday, June 15, 2007
The end of leadership in the age of ueberbullshit!
The end of leadership in the age of ueberbullshit
and MBA - more bullshit always!
What does this mean?
and MBA - more bullshit always!
What does this mean?
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